I'm afraid not/I'm a frayed knot

I've noticed that many of my favorite jokes a dirty, but I don't think the one where the rope gets kicked out of a bar and tries to muss up its hair/unravel itself is.  I'm not going to assume it isn't though, so I warn you that there may be some mildly dirty jokes appearing in these pages.  Later I'll tell you about the penguin who had car trouble.  

Remember last week/a few posts ago when I said I was going to write every day?  Of course you don't, you either don't exist or you're reading this sometime far in the future and already know I didn't keep that promise.  Well, I'm going to try to get posts up every weekday or five times a week with posts on weekends, whichever comes first.  That way I can use loopholes and arguments about the week starting on Sunday/Monday/Thursday to cover up the fact that I will surely fail at that goal as well.  Just wanted to warn you.

I do love that Blogger has a tab that says "Monetize" up top, which makes everyone want to write awesome stuff that eventually gets tons of readers and results in more ads saying "Google pays me 1700 dollars a week to work at home, want to learn how?"  I should note, the answer to those questions tends to be "I get paid to perpetuate fraud on trusting internet users by claiming to be paid to work at home when in reality I'm being paid to perpetuate the fraud that I'm being paid, which I realize is all very circular, but send me a check and I'll show you how you can do the same thing."  Its very complicated, but hey, so is working for a hedge fund.

Here is a list of links that I've bookmarked, but that are probably not of any use to you: Copyright class wiki, Columbia Law School Lawnet, Columbia University Directory, Westlaw and LexisNexis.  I said I'd go over the things I do on the internet, but I think these are probably not of interest to people not in my particular position.  The first one is just notes/info for a class I'm in (there are no laptops allowed, so having the typed notes on there is useful), the second is how we log into CLS to get things like grades, seat reservations, course sign ups and materials and things like that and the third is just a way of looking up peoples Columbia e-mail addresses if you know their name (or vice versa).  The last two are the two competing legal research companies, which probably would be interesting to people, but for the fact that they cost money and require a log-in (unless you're a law student, in which case they're free to get you addicted).  You probably also aren't interested in the NY Public Library page or the CU Move page, but I may talk about those later.  Get ready for the future, when I'll list some other favorite websites of mine, only I'll discuss them.  

So, this penguin who works for government services in Antarctica has been saving up for years to take a vacation and see the United States.  He buys a ticket on a ocean liner (link NSFWwithsound) and heads up to Boston (penguins can't fly, its an inner ear thing), and makes his way down through the North East corridor seeing all the sites.  He catches a game at Fenway, goes to the top of the Empire State Building and sees the Statue of Liberty, goes to Independence Hall (and posts pictures of himself standing by the liberty bell, pretending to ring it, on his facebook page), and tours all the monuments, museums and government buildings in DC.  He wants to check out California too, so he rents a car and starts driving cross country.  He stops in Chicago, but then continues on, as he discovers that the middle of the United States is pretty boring for a penguin (since they're not that interested in grain).  He was driving through Arizona when the check engine light came on and he noticed the car was running a little roughly with some white smoke coming from the exhaust pipe.  He pulled off at an exit and luckily arrived at a little strip mall with a mechanics shop almost immediately.  The mechanic waved him in, told him he'd look at it in a minute, and suggested he go down the street to and get himself something to eat while he waited.  The penguin walked outside and saw a Diary Queen and decided to try ice cream (he'd never tried it before, they only have Italian ice in Antarctica.  Ice cream is kind of like polar bears that way).  He ordered a vanilla cone, not wanting to be too adventurous his first time getting ice cream.  He got his cone and went outside and discovered how difficult the coned ice cream experience is when you have flippers and a beak.  He finally managed to get most of it down by just smushing the cone into his face, although he got the ice cream all over his face in the process.  He was looking around for a napkin or something when he saw the mechanic waving him in.  He walked inside as the mechanic closed the hood and wiped his hands on a rag and said "Dude, it looks like you blew a seal..."